I USED TO BE CREATIVE

To clarify I am still VERY creative but for a company. I am paid to be creative on demand. That can be difficult but exciting. I am trying to find the inner hustle, sparkle, drive to do this for myself again.

So while I am sorting out my things [AKA my life] I decided to take a trip down memory lane and take a peek at my college sketchbook. I am pretty impressed with it honestly.

There were acetate pockets, memories from my study abroad program at London College of Printing. I learned to silkscreen there among other things.

I got to see Damien Hirst in his heyday, well he’s always in constant heyday as far as I am concerned. He is an inspiration. I will get to posting about my favorite people another day.

Any way, I will start again to be creative for myself— I will start adding my illustration and painting projects and ideas, I will thumb through another sketch book perhaps.

I will get better at this I promise. I think I need another camera rig type item [suggestions appreciated]

Anyway while I listen to Death From Above 1979 I am thinking about my life. I lost my mom just over a month ago. I will unpack that another day. But I did happen to speak with a psychic medium randomly the day before the 1 month marker of my mom's passing. I waited 4 freakin' years for an appointment and they called all the way back in February, so I chose a lovely day in May to go visit with her. Who knew what life would deal our family and the world at that point, but her appointment couldn’t have come at a better time.

She said my Grandparents, mainly my grandmother told her to tell me I was talented. I shouldn’t doubt it. I was creative. I needed to know.

She also said my mom was proud of me and maybe I didn’t know it in life but from where she is now she needed to make sure I knew that [I REALLY needed to know this]. Again, it could be a whole other post with my learnings from this reading.

I am very talented. I am. I will be. I will do more. I will get back my mojo/juju/magic/sparkle. It has been dulled so long.

I am bipolar. I have clinical depression and anxiety. Now fibromyalgia is creeping in. I want these things to be normal and not used against me. I am a person with feelings. I just happen to have a mental illness, its chemical its not my choosing.

But my darkness has dulled my shine. I am clawing my way out of the dark hole. I have ideas. I truly do. Not just my Amy style drawing/collages/paintings. BUT large scale abstract paintings all in my brain. Something I never have done I don’t even know where to start but I see the colors and shapes in things [AKA my mess in my apartment but blurry and magnified].

I have ideas. I need to clear space not only in my apartment but in my mind.

Well I guess that is it… here is me fumbling around trying to share college Amy’s brain through her sketch book [man if I could go back]

Net take away on college Amy:

* She was un-diagnosed with mental illness. She struggled, A LOT.

* I was loved [its true! I had actual boyfriends!!] ALSO who was this dorm neighbor Alex?! I remember he was cute, funny, nice and from Connecticut. He gave me a photo of the war of the world spaceship that I silk screened on. He taped notes to my door. I liked him but I had a boyfriend, Jake who came to London with me. Alex, are you still out there?

* I randomly called myself KIT [there was a tagging phase I mean it was the 90's in NYC]

* I was in London when my beloved Grandma passed away—I had a crazy dream one night woke up and sent her a 5 page letter telling her how much she meant to me and gave her a little wool sheep from Scotland that I bought on a trip to Inverness. She died just days after my sister Donna randomly went to her house to get mail. Donna read the letter to her at the hospital. She was cremated wearing my sheep pin while I was in London clueless. Well... maybe not so much I woke up after a nightmare of loosing teeth, I called home my sister Jeanette who lived in Florida answered the phone I got confused. I remember asking why she was there and hearing her speaking loudly to my mom "we NEED to tell her" she did. I was all alone in a pay phone in cold dark London crying. Jake and I had a fight earlier that evening I stomped out of his flat alone to go to the phone booth. It still makes me sad to think about. If I dream about teeth falling out bad shit happens, ALWAYS.

* I was always creative, creating and excited

* I took a lot of post cards, picked a lot of stickers off things and cut tons of shit from news papers and magazines.

* I was brave even though I had no idea.

* I traveled!

OK BLAH BLAH BLAH I will post more on more of the following:

* Mental health— FUCK come on people let’s make this normal [well at least its my normal]

* My favorite people that I don’t know [there's many]
 
*The reading from the most amazing Medium [she told me to use my voice— she said she saw a blog, literally the day she told me this I had clicked onto this ancient museum of musings, last post 2013]

*Art stuff [my sketch books, paintings, drawings]
 
*Cool shit I see and like

Any way. I ramble its OK. I also write like Yoda speaks sometimes-- deal it it you will. If you made it here you are a true star ✨ I will be back with more.

*also to note, I abuse my [bracket] and [!!!!!] privileges

Mazzy Madness

Those of you who know me know that my cat Mazzy (11years old) is a huge pain in the ass starting at around 3 AM begging for food. I can't remember when exactly this started some time in the past 4 years or so. I haven't gotten a decent nights sleep except when I'm not home in 4 plus stinking annoying horrible years!!
 
I'm exhausted.

I cant just lock her out since her meowing and scratching at the door will definitely wake the neighbors. That's the last thing I need. You've all heard that gem of a story.

This AM operation ignore Mazzy failed. I've this tried in the past.
I've also tried squirt guns. They eventually end up leaking in my bed which is just gross to wake up to. I am not against threats "I will punch you in your cat face" is my new one.

I worry my neighbors next door and below will riot and blow me in at our board meetings for the constant racket.  I'm a light sleeper I'd be mega-pissed if I lived below me.

So last night I prepped for battle.  I strategically place my new throw rugs under my vanity so there would be no perfume bottle casualties (she knocks them off spitefully to break them if I don't get up-yes she knows). She next moves on to my Yoda alarm clock (where I placed some sweatpants on the floor to break his fall). Then moved on to the plug with the light switch (this was a new one). Only after stepping all over my body in very painful ways I made my first acknowledgement to her punk ass.
 
I felt I HAD to eventually get up (5 AM) since she began to scratch on my new throw rugs. That signaled to me spiteful peeing and I has to bust a move out of bed to prevent this tragedy because I really like them (and they are brand spanking new).

Even when I get up to feed her at say 3:30 AM she is an epic pain in the ass production since my other high maintenance cat Pipa (has diabetes and gluttonous tendencies) lurks trying to steal Mazzy's non dietetic food.

So this brings us to Mazzy's in and out of the bathroom routine. I put her bowl down and close the door. She eats for a minute. Scratches to come out. This repeats until she's had enough or I just get tired and leave the door open then of course Pipa  moves in.

The only successful part of today's mission is having the wits about me to feed Mazzy in the bedroom. Where she apparently feels safe enough to eat all of her food without the scratching at the door BS.

I've played with her at night. I've fed her extra at night. Even on my going out nights when she gets fed super late she still starts in super early. I'm baffled how this even started going on 4 plus years with horrible broken sleep EVERYDAY seems worse than having a newborn. An 11 year old spoiled princess cat worse than a baby.  Perhaps.

I'm headed back to sleep Mazzy is peacefully sleeping at the foot of my bed. Maybe I should poke and prod her awake? I'd step on her if I wouldn't crush her so she'd know how awful that was.

But no I will let her sleep. Cuz you never know when she could hold it against you and spitefully pee on your new throw rug. It seems only a matter of time. 

Mazzy Sleeping look cute.

 

Most likely a reason for a spiteful pee spree.

The water gun that leaked in my bed.

 Pipa in her "Thunder Shirt" AKA the girdle.

Somewhere in a ghetto Rainbow...

Tonight I had a lovely adventure with my best friend Bridget Ann. We end up in the most wacky places. Tonights adventure found us in a shop called RAINBOW. This is where we found our life changing rainbow striped hoodie dress. Watching tv and lounging about will never be the same. Tonight's sketch of the day goes to this ;) yay happyplacehoodieloungedress thingie!!!

DYNO-MITE!!

So in looooove with our fun sushi place. They have my new favorite roll the dynamite roll, it has spicy tuna, shrimp tempura, cucumbers, crispy yummy-ness on the rice and papaya on top. This roll is no joke!

I wish I took a real photo but didn't so I dedicated today's drawing of the day to it!!

Blank pages...

Forgive me Father for I have sinned--it has been 4 months since I last sketched in my sketchbook. Here is an oldie to inspire me to do my quick fun drawings of a random things that happened in my day :D

Need is an understatement.

Kind of need to have this in my car.

Just like my mini pitchfork (SO wish i had a photo) someone left behind at one of my Halloween parties, but much more clear and to the point.

Zombie Jesus meet Zombie Bunny!!

Just in time to celebrate the most epic of zombie tales... Easter!!




buy them here:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e88a/

emoticon-fabulous!

Now if only they made a winking smile...
I’d be on that one like white on rice ;)

A few random thoughts on online dating…

I do always seem to end up finding the BEST comic book fodder EVER!! But is it worth the self-inflicted torture to get these great stories? As I am packing my bags to run far, far away from this ‘new’ dating site I will share some of my random thoughts on online dating…

Don’t feature a picture of yourself with your ex or your “sister” please, who are you fooling? I also don’t need to see your abs or a racy photo of your penis thru your underpants [although hilarious]. No thank you, you need not write to me. Since we’re on the topic of photos… you should actually look like yours--WTF deceivers also need not write.

Saying that you will ONLY date a younger lady and have no interest in dating a 30 something because we all are ‘baby obsessed’ and you are in no rush to have any kids any time soon isn’t really helping your cause. Especially since you are balding and a big ol’ douche bag. And besides all that I am not sure who you are kidding if you think you can score a girl 10 years younger than yourself. I wish I could command Z looking at your page--GROSS!!!

This, my friends is a perfect example of a deceiver; one whose photo appears to be handsome/pretty so you click on them to see their profile. Then when you click to see more pictures they are absolutely awful! Be lucky you found out now, and not on the actual date--some people just photograph better than they really look.

And while on this topic… people you can date up a number or possibly down one if that person is quirky enough and makes you laugh. If you are a cute girl you can go up 2 because cute goes a long way. But please don’t try to skip like 5 notches and email some one that is WAAAAAAAY out of your league. It may work in Hollywood but not here in real life.

Opening a message with 'hi hot lips' NEVER works. No matter how hot my lips are. You will need to find a more suitable opening for a message.

Please, if I don’t respond it is not necessary to send me hate emails--that is just rude!! I am sure that people don’t reply to EVERY SINGLE PERSON that writes to them. It isn't just me.

If you are lucky enough to make it to a date please DON’T DO THE FOLLOWING:

blow cigarette smoke into my face, expound on how amazing you think you are, make me swear to secrecy when you tell me about your movie idea [which sucks anyway], tell me about your ‘witch’ ex [yes, a real witch] then tell me how your were once possessed by said ex, ‘forget’ to tip the bartender, not pay for your ½ or at least for 1 of my drinks, be a racist, drive drunk, get wasted, sit too close [me moving away is a clear sign of my fear/disgust], touch me inappropriately, be late, invite a friend [who I will happen to like better than you--do us both a favor and go home], tell me how you work with retards [because you think I will like the fact that you are a ‘giver’. If you really did work with these folks you wouldn’t call them retards!], tell me that you are a psychologist/psychiatrist [I get picked apart enough with out dating a REAL psychologist/psychiatrist], talk shit about cats, be allergic to cats, let your dog lick you in the mouth [inside your mouth--WTF!!], tell me the things I like are creepy/scary, make me feel stupid because I like something you don’t, tell me you are reading war and peace again, you don’t own TV because TV is the devil [you are safe if you watch online], ask if I read magazines and when I answer yes, get all uppity about me being a part of the decline of our nation [I read fashion magazines really?!], get snobby about books/movies/music, smell funny [if you do I am leaving!], cut your food up into tiny little pieces [it is a hamburger not a pizza!], lie about your age [I obviously know now thanks you deceiver a-hole!], try to kiss me when you know full well I am NOT interested-- when I don’t or pull away then stomp your feet in a rage that scares me so much that I feel unsafe on my walk to the train, in fact I HAVE run home from many of these horrible dates [seriously a FULL ON run].

Ok the list could go on and on… I have been on so many horrible dates it gets tedious. You may think this list of sorts makes me a bitch… maybe it does.

Maybe I am too hard on people I don’t think so really, I am sure people are just as hard as me when it comes to online dating--come on, like you don’t do the same thing. I am just the one who is writing it out here for all to see.

This makes me happy :)

Yeah it really does...

Oh how i loves me some Noel Fielding and he looks sooooooo fabulous as Vince Noir, i am slightly jealous.

Who'd have thought i would have learned how to better rock a headband--and you know that i can really rock a headband-- i am liking how he has his hair in the back :) thank you Noel, thank you!!

SWOOOOOOOOOOOOON <3

a VERY fresh perspective

Let me tell you about magazines... high fashion and fabulous to us. Confusing and slightly scary to a 12 and 9 year old.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my nieces [my nephew too, but this story focuses more on them]. They innocently sing to Taylor Swift and All American Rejects about their dirty little secrets... I am weary of this but I bought them rock band so i cannot bring that up.

This past weekend I spent with them their grandmother brought magazines over for my sister, she "gets them from the home shopping network, but would never read these kinds of magazines." my mom gets them too so I benefit from them when I visit her.

So here we are my family and family in-law actually interested in what I do for a living and hey one of the ads I have worked on is in one of said magazines.

Fast forward to my 12 year old niece taking in the photo editorial of Britney Spears, my sister thinks her kids are twins but Alissa knows that they are brothers. Girl is with it.

But when she sees Brit Brit in a fabulous blue feathery coat sitting in a cage [see below] some questions and interesting observations arise.

"She looks like cookie monster, who would wear this it is scary"
"Why is she in a cage" Brianna pipes in

Then we flip on to see an editorial where one of the models is dressed like a man, she has a mustache and all [very prettily painted on, I would have torn this spread out because it is pretty with great accessories, but I digress] There is a debate between the 2 girls over whether it is a man or not, I explain how her make-up is put on for her to look like this >> it blows their minds "why isn’t it just a man?"





We continue to flip thru the magazine and come across a Calvin Klein ad with Eva Mendes [thank goodness she has clothes on in this one] "Aunt Amy why is she all wet?" a question that I have no answer to. Why IS she all wet? it is a very interesting thing.

They watch TV, they read twilight [even thought they weren’t supposed to] so to see this reaction was sweet. The "haute" fashion that we so regularly take advantage of... it was nice to get a fresh innocent perspective on.

One batty day on vacation

The day started when Rob noticed the bats while we were eating breakfast... Libby and I thought it was strange that they were out in the daytime. Upon closer examination there were 3 bats and sadly only 1 was still alive. She was caught in the outside frame of the window. Her trapped wing was totally damaged. 

Obviously as a bat lover, I went into hysterics. I couldn't stop crying. Sam went to check things out; he was discouraged when he couldn't pry the wood loose. Libby and Slav went into action calling animal control. There were 3 phone calls back to Libby about the bat. We were all pretty amazed that people cared to call us back. 

DO NOT TOUCH IT was the advice; some one is on the way. 1/2 an hour later I am still sobbing thinking how awful it must be for her to be stuck and scared, not only that but to be stuck with her dead friends :( Jake made fun of me for giving human traits to the bat. Then he saw that my crying wasn't stopping so he and Sam went into action. 

Sam was bundled up in all his log sleeve items and a scarf. He had found the fireplace gloves and made a "net" to catch her out of a water jug. To quote Sam: "I always wear this whilst rescuing bats!"

I am still not clear on how he and Jake pried the wood apart, but Sam said he lifted her out carefully. 
Jake took the bat in the jug covered with a towel outside, I ran up to see her and she was gone, Jake put her in the woods behind the house, not far, but out of the jug. So we had to get her back in since we got another call from a woman who said she would come get her. Lucky for the little bat and us Patricia Winters had just called. 

Jake tried to push her in with a stick Thinking that may injure her I ran to get a thin fly swatter to put under her so she would go inside the box-- she wasn't having it. Eventually she did crawl onto my glove. And I really just was so smitten I wanted to keep her or kiss her, but everyone yelled in unison for me to put her in the box. 

We waited for a while but when no one came-- we were worried. Then there was another phone call: could we bring the bat to her? Luckily Patricia lived a short drive from our house. We walked up the driveway to see her car, the license plate read "bat mam" I was so excited!! 

She invited us ALL in she was worried that such a large group wouldn't fit in her "bat room", Luke remarking that shouldn't it be called a bat cave? 

Once inside the room we saw lots of instruments and magnifying tools she used on the bats, oh and lots of mini boxes. She called them bat boxes for them to live in. 

She examined "Sam" we named her that in the car, since Sam was the bravest in the rescue>> in all fairness we did throw around a combo of Jake and Sam>> but "smake" didn't sound so nice. Her official name is "Samantha Libby Slav Schipano Wallace".

She showed use her little teeth; she was missing her lower canine. And she was sad to see that she was missing all her fingers but she still had her thumb, which meant her wing wouldn't ever work again :( she told us all that Sam would become a "classroom bat" that she would have a new life teaching kids about bats. From hanging on close to death to a new life filled with happiness. For all parties involved. 

After she settled Sam in her bat box she showed us a few of the many species of bats that had been brought to her to rehabilitate. It was an amazing experience and I am thinking of a new career as a "bat mam' :) 

* thank you Micaela for the wonderful pictures & Aggie for hugging me *

Sam in her box post rescue.

The Bat mobile :D

I was such a cry baby that day. Look how tiny Sam is!

Patricia told us all about Sam. This is her good wing.

One of Sam's new Bat friends.

To learn more about the AMAZING Patricia Winters check out some of the links below:

http://creec.edgateway.net/cs/creecp/view/creec_org/352

http://www.sfweekly.com/2000-11-08/news/save-the-bats/

http://media.www.laneytower.com/media/storage/paper1008/news/2009/09/17/Features/Bat-Maam.Returns-3776290.shtml

http://www.pacificsun.com/story.php?story_id=2539

feed your head

I saw this in a liquor store display from the bus window a while back-- if I didn't HAVE to be some where prompt I would have jumped off to snatch this fabulous gem up!!



Now mind you after some research I have found that this Vodka is between 49-69 very fancy dollars. But that skull bottle just maybe worth it all for my frequent Halloween entertaining. I will seek out an online deal-- it will be my new mission.

Check out Dan Aykroyd selling the wonders of this apparently very delicious vodka. It is fun but 8 minutes...


If you don't have 8 minutes you can check out the "PC guy" breaking his character by using a mac to film his tasting. They tell me since it is flipped it is filmed on a mac. His glasses make him kinda hip>> Mac guy watch out!!

Can I get an Amen?!

Last week Sara Bell discovered a Cheeto shaped as she described “like a praying figure in robe.” 

She and her husband are keeping the “Cheesus” in a clear plastic watch box, covered with a tissue blanket. It really is precious. Both that they call him "Cheesus" AND that they made him a little bed :D!! 

This seems to me a sign that Jesus wants us to eat cheetos! 

Her husband Dan Bell, said they are considering placing the item up for sale on eBay. 

"How much do you think we should ask for it? It could be 25 cents,could be 25 dollars. If it's only 25 cents, we're just going to eat it," he said. 

Eat the Cheesus?? Hmmmmm… 

Mind you while this Cheeto is shaped like the body of Christ, Cheetos will not be replacing the Eucharist at church anytime soon—that would just be blasphemous!!

It just leaves me to wonder if the “Cheesus” is a regular ol' fried Cheeto or of the less indulgent “baked” variety.

Now that's a statement!!

Thanks to my buddy Rob, it was brought to my attention that there are some swine flu masks with a sense of humor-- YESSSSS i knew it!!! check them out:

*SCREW THE FLU*

i find myself baffled by the growing amount of people wearing masks to "prevent" themselves from contracting the swine flu...

What i find even more disturbing is the growing frequency at which i see said mask being removed to smoke, eat, or drink. Am i wrong or doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Plus i kinda think that it can get into your eyes, onto hands or maybe into the crevice on the side of the mask, maybe i am just a doubting thomas. Maybe masks are good.

They could be a fashion statement like how i envisioned the eye patch catching on a few months back...

just picture it: a black diamond encrusted eye patch strutting its stuff down 5th avenue. now that is fierce.

Maybe i should be more concerned and not so flip.

But some how i am not.

JUST AWESOME!!!!

This is the most ridiculously amazing cat i have ever laid eyes on...
Kind of like the Chinese Crested of the cat world :D

WOOOOOOT WOOOOOOOT!!!!!

OMG!!!!

i am dying... i love Blythe and here is her moment
to shine for the Target/McQueen collection.

i cannot wait for it to arrive i am going to
get up with the rooster for this one!!

March 4th is the one day that i will be thankful that
Mazzy is a pain in the arse and wakes me up at the crack of dawn...

check it out AMAZING!!!

UPDATES--on love day!

OK so this Is just an update of sorts…

I went to comic-con last weekend and it was amazing as always!! I love just wondering around and seeing what people are up to, but the down side of that is what I am NOT up to.

I am going to get my ass in gear and my goal is to complete and print 3 books so that next year I can get myself a table and rock the con.

Also part of this epiphany was inspired by seeing coraline, I think I was the ONLY person in the theater secretly crying under her 3D glasses. It was just so beautiful and it just made me sad cuz I am selling shampoo for a living and not doing “good things” "beautiful things" that make people happy.

So this is another part of my goal—I have tons of material half started and it is [if I can say so myself] good shit!!

So I am going to finish "If mice had human ears" next. It is a GREAT story of a lab mouse with a human ear grown on his back—he escapes his petri dish and becomes the world’s super spy due to his acute hearing abilities :D

So this valentine-less lady will be working out her story today and the rest of the long weekend, as well as collecting ear pictures from her many magazines… hahahaha!!

The Zombie Tooth is officially done and awaiting $$ to be printed—sadly I spent the cash I had for it refinancing. So in turn I will save more $$ per month on my mortgage to afford such luxuries as printing comics!!

Ok get excited people because I will achieve my cult comic book writer status very soon—UNIVERSE are you listening???




The zombie tooth cover



Original concept art for "mouse"



One of my favorite frames from the story... just so silly that he is using the Ol' cup listening in method on his grown ear :D hahaha

REALLY...

well NBC has chosen to take down my video link... so much for that!! well if you were lucky enough to see it good for you!! REALLY!!